Naysaying Loved Ones

I’m sure there are other converts who experience the Naysaying loved ones who take jabs at your religion when you’re down. Many of our families are not supportive of the struggles to wear hijab, career changes where you don’t compromise your faith, even process of getting married without the whole dating and cohabitating for years thing. Basically by becoming Muslim, they question your judgment. Even if it is not explicit, their implicit disapproval for your religion can be seen in their skeptical response to even your happiest moments. Then their doubts and concerns about your lifestyle commitments become more explicit when life gets rocky. If you are not a happy smiling Muslim, well the problem is your religion. Talking to non-Muslim friends and family members about problems can open you up for critiques about Islam. I’ve heard things from non-Muslim family members such as, “Well, your prayers aren’t working for you” or “Well, what have the Muslims done for you?” or “Maybe this religion isn’t for you.” These statements are not something you want to hear when you are looking for consolation or going through lonely times. Even though the Shaolin monks could kick some butt, you’re supposed to maintain a zen like calm under whatever threats because any human failings such as losing your temper under pressure are blown up to signs of hypocrisy. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I stick to myself, especially as I struggle to gain footing in Philadelphia, to reset my career path, try to make sense out of the ins and outs of this new life.

Those who were born into practicing Muslim families may not experience the occasional bouts of Islam bashing from their families. In general, their families will support decisions to be Muslim. Nor will their families take shots at their religiosity during those hard times. Maybe not from their practicing parents, but perhaps from their non-practicing siblings or other relatives who are not Muslim. But that critique is something that really hurts when it comes from a parent. That family disconnect is what makes the situation of converts alienating. I think that’s why we cling to the ideals of the ummah, feel even more hurt when excluded from particular communities. We have not broken family ties, but we have become the “Other” amongst the people who know us best. I’m not saying I have been persecuted for converting. However it still is an unknown factor, an oddity that they are not entirely comfortable with. I did lose a lot of friends in my spiritual journey and extended family situations can be awkward, especially in the past few years when I began practicing outwardly again. I have learned that over the years I have to tolerate ignorant comments about the Muslim world, about politics, I have to take the pot shots and the jokes in stride just to keep the peace. But on an emotional level, when you are looking for someone who has your best interest at heart, you realize that your relatives and friends are no Abu Talib, and that really hurts. There is an increased pressure to make life appear picture perfect or at least not share my ups and downs with others because my lows can be another indictment against my faith, let alone my decision to practice it with sincerity.

Loneliness Spreads like a Virus

A recent article published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology offers something to think about. Loneliness spreads like a virus, as the study suggests, and it is not a personality trait. Instead, it is a condition like hunger. We human beings are naturally social and we crave human interaction. I think this is important to think about because whether we like to talk about it or not, many Muslim women are depressed. Much of it is due to social isolation. And I don’t mean just from purdah (secluding oneself in the home), but isolation as part of the modern condition where mass migration and high mobility separate us from friends and family. I have talked to a number of women, from new mothers, to newlyweds, to ex-pats, and immigrants, and a number of women I know, including myself, have experienced debilitating loneliness. How to combat loneliness? That is a hard thing, especially because it leaves you vulnerable and especially sensitive to social slights. The article states:

While a runny nose might spread through handshakes, people likely catch the loneliness bug through negative interactions. A lonely person will be less trusting of others, essentially “making a mountain out of a molehill,” said study researcher John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago. An odd look or phrasing by a friend that wouldn’t even be noticed by a chipper person could be seen as an affront to the lonely, triggering a cycle of negative interactions that cause people to lose friends.

When you’re down in the dumps, it is much harder to make new friends or repair old ties. I don’t think it is just the lonely person’s fault. Sometimes people can act like vultures and prey on the weak or wounded. It is easy to take a pot shot at someone who is already down. In fact, some people can be downright mean as they see emotions as a sign of vulnerability. The trick for a lonely person is to reach out, slowly build real relationships where both parties earn each other’s trust. Another downfall of loneliness and negativity is that you can attract other people who are also angry and negative. Misery loves company. And as the study suggests, if you are around a lonely person that bug may catch you too. Maybe you can find activities to be around people doing something positive, instead of talking and commiserating. The most important lesson I walked away from after reading the article is that we should work hard as a community to reach out to people who are on the outskirts. We can’t just let people drift away, instead we should help them repair old social ties and create new ones. We all need circles of friends and associates for support. Living abroad and relocating several times has really brought that point to bear for me. We have to think about addressing these issues on a personal level and a community level. We’re all busy, but our modern lives and technology have created more communication but greater social isolation. We can all use a bit more face to face interactions and authentic relationships. Creating companionship is just hard work, but for our own emotional, psychological, and physical health we should work on it. Read more here.

Congratulations to Brass Crescent Award Winners

Mabrook to all of the winners, honorable mentions, and nominees for the Brass Crescent Awards. I would like to congratulate Suhaib Webb for Best Blog, Muslimah Media Watch for best female blog, and Marc Manley for honorable mention for Best Design and the many others . This year has been promising due to the high quality of articles produced by group blogs such as MuslimMatters, Muslimah Media Watch, and Suhaib Webb. A number of individual writers have contributed thoughtful pieces throughout this year. Many of them escaped notice during the Brass Crescent Awards. My hope is that this year we encourage a new crop of young writers with an eye for journalism, fresh perspectives, and sharp analytical lenses.

Eid Mubarak

Kul ‘Am wa Antum Bekheir!!

May Allah accept the hajj of the hajjis, including a few of my students and co-workers, and accept our fasts. This year I celebrated along with my husband at Masjid al-Aqsa, where I work. Imam Anas from Quba Institute gave the khutbah, a very thought provoking piece on bridging our ethnic divides in America. We had brunch with some very nice folks, an example of Imam Anas’s message. I started preparing for the ‘Eid feast on Wednesday, cooked all day yesterday and overnight. I have a few more dishes to make and we’ll have guests over. We’re having a traditional soul food ‘Eid: Turkey, stuffing, roast beef, mashed potatoes, peas, yams, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, black eyed peas, rice, salad. All we need is for you to bring the pie. One day I hope to post some of American dishes I’ve prepared during Ramadan and even some recipes from my ethnic specialities. I’ve spent a number of ‘Eids by myself or surrounded by unfamiliars. It is nice to be home and to have someone to share this special day.

I Love Being Muslim…

…but I don’t have to address every attack against Islam.

The past few days, I’ve received some negative reactions from non-Muslims about my faith. Somehow, it causes a lot of anxiety for people who do not understand why I would be Muslim. People will ask me, “Why do Muslims do this? Why do Muslims do that?” I don’t feel that I have to answer for a billion people, just as most Christians don’t feel that they have to explain Nazism, colonialism, or slavery. I’m not a polemic or an apologists. I don’t think that Muslims have been perfect in history, but Muslims have not committed atrocities on the scale of let’s say the Holocaust or dropped nuclear bombs on cities.

I don’t really care if you don’t understand my personal relationship with the Creator. It is not my issue if you hate my faith and our Prophet Muhammad, that’s yours. I’m not oppressed, but actively engaged in community life. This blog is not a platform for anti-Muslim polemics. I’m not going to engage Islamaphobes on this blog or in emails. Simply, your vitriol will be deleted. I don’t spend time going on Islamaphobe websites wasting my time on polemics. As the famous Ayat in the Quran states: “I do not worship what you worship and you do not worship what I worship. To you be your religion and to me mine.”

Brass Crescent Awards

The 6th Annual Brass Crescent Awards are open for voting. There are some really impressive writers that are on the list. I was actually surprised to see my blog nominated, especially since I haven’t been posting much. But I am not surprised to see my husband’s blog nominated for Best Design and Best Writing. He has done some great work for the Philadelphia community and his writing, masha’Allah, reflects his intellectual and community endeavors. I think some of his finest work is on the Ma’rifah blog. This year is also bittersweet because we now have a category for best retired blog. There are some writers who I dearly miss, but I hope one day that their thoughts will find some place in history on a dusty book shelf somewhere. I say that because I am fond of bookshelves.
On another note, outside the major slide into fitnah and backbiting that we experienced last year, there has been some positive developments in the blogosphere. With sites such as MuslimMatters and Muslimah Media Watch, we have some great collaborative work. When you combine their resources with the likes of Suhaib Webb’s blog and numerous others, the future of blogistan looks pretty bright. It really humbles me to be included among these heavy hitters. I hope that one day I can rise to the occasion and someday prove worthy of such high consideration.

Muslim Conditions in Philly

This is because Allah has never changed a favor which He has conferred upon a people until they change their own condition; and because Allah is Hearing, Knowing
Quran 8:53

Maybe it is a reflection of the times, but our community has become self destructive, in other words the Muslims, as a community, is its own worst oppressor. This is especially the case in Philly where there are only a few small pockets where a thinking Muslim can have some semblance of individuality. With so many Muslims, you’d think there would be more opportunities to develop some sense of fellowship. Philadelphia Muslims seem to undermine whatever community building and personal development and put in its place factionalism, polemics, and self-righteousness. Only a few communities offer a ray of light offering some hope that we can climb our way out of pathology. Even grassroots Muslim leaders begin to wonder if there is hope for our people. And when I mean people, I am talking about Black people. And by hope, I mean the transformative power of Islam in cleaning up people’s lives and offering them dignity.

Before I moved out here, a sister told me Philadelphia has some of the craziest Muslims. My husband recently saw a young man working at a Dunkin Donuts with a tattoo on his face, all over his arms, and even on his knuckles. Funny thing is, he had a very Muslim name. And we don’t mean the typical Arabic or Swahili names that Black folks picked up like Malik or Jamal. Naw, his name meant the perfection of faith. And there he was, all tatted up, molesting his co-worker, only to get a bit nervous when he saw my husband in his obviously Muslim attire.

Philly’s the only place where I’ve seen a hijab wearing Muslim smoke cigarettes in the day time during Ramadan. Maybe she wasn’t fasting at the time, but why would she still smoke in plain sight. This is the only city where I heard of three niqab wearing Muslim sisters jumping another woman in a Walmart parking lot in day light hours during Ramadan. It is probably the only place where similarly pious sisters will scrap in front of their children’s school and masjid, then return the next day bringing their non-Muslim family members to back them up in a fight.

I am saddened that there are others who try to discredit my husband by spreading rumors he’s shi’a because he once used the title “Imam” in front of Ali and prays with his arms down following the Maliki school. Philadelphia Muslims quibble about a whole lot, and they seem to have lost the forest for the trees. They will argue about ‘aqeedah, not being on the right minhaj, not following the right sheikh, but nobody is going to address sexual abuse, slander, and criminal activity in the community.

But I see rays of hope in my young students, as I read their journals and they write about their hopes, dreams and aspirations. Sometimes I am heart broken because the apathy that is so widespread in the Black community has also infected so many of them. I am hopeful when I see institutions like Quba Institute producing young Muslims who have Islamic literacy and are engaged with their society. Islam is not some cultural identity, but rather a vehicle for character building and a means to getting towards our ultimate goal, which is to meet our Lord.

I hope this next generation gets it right, or at least better than us. I know I’ve made many mistakes, fell off, and faltered a number of times. But once our youths step away from their X-bosses and take out their ear plugs, I know that they will have the vigor and the skill set to set this ship on its right course.

NPR article: Blacks still drawn to Islam despite FBI raids

Jessie Washington of the Associated Press recently wrote an article addressing the challenges that Black American Muslims face despite negative stereotypes. Despite the prejudice we experience in a predominantly white Christian society, many of us are still drawn to Islam.

By now, Sekou Jackson is used to the questions: Why does he need to leave a work meeting to pray? Don’t black Muslims convert to Islam in jail? Why would you even want to be Muslim?

“It’s kind of a double whammy to be African-American and Muslim,” said Jackson, who studies the Navy at the National Academy of Science in Washington. “You’re going to be judged.”

Jackson’s struggle may have gotten harder when the FBI on Wednesday raided a Detroit-area warehouse used by a Muslim group. The FBI said the group’s leader preached hate against the government, trafficked in stolen goods and belonged to a radical group that wants to establish a Muslim state in America. The imam of the group’s mosque, a black American named Luqman Ameen Abdullah, was killed in a shootout with agents.

Although the FBI was careful to say those arrested in Detroit were not mainstream Muslims, it has accused other black Muslims of similar crimes, most recently in May, when four men were charged with plotting to blow up New York synagogues and shoot down a military plane.

For the article, he interviewed several local Black American Muslims, including myself and my husband Marc. The rest of the article explores Islam’s draw amongst Black American Muslims. You can read the rest here.

Not qualified to teach?

My husband Marc informed me that on a Salafi forum a local Philly Muslim warned people about attending any of lectures at the Islamic Literacy Series. The brother basically said that we were a bunch of latte drinking*, homosexual loving, elitist, Obama loving Muslims. In another email, someone criticized us by saying that we were not scholars of Islam, have never lived in Saudi Arabia (although I have lived in Kuwait and Egypt), there was no such thing as tasawwuf, and were going to commit shirk in these lectures.

These are some major accusations meant to discredit each one of us with a stereotype of a liberal Muslim who is lax about his/her moral stances. The effete and elitist stereotype is also used to try to emasculate any of the male speakers in the lecture series. It is a rather facile attempt to argue, “If you’re a real man, you won’t attend these lectures.” I will admit that it is not even worth engaging this type of drivel. Still, it is important to consider how these stances are detrimental to the Muslim community in America. The most important accusation is: none of us are qualified to teach because we are not “real scholars.” Not one of the lecturers claim to be amongst the ‘ulema. I have never claimed to be a faqiha, nor do I give fatwa. However, all of us have spent over a decade dedicated to studying subjects related to Islam. We all hope to share our knowledge with the broader public and inspire others to continue their intellectual quests informally and formally. Also, what qualifies this individual to say that I am not qualified to teach adults? I am a historian by training with a masters in history, I am qualified to teach college and private high schools. I have taught dozens of Muslim and non-Muslim students various subjects from English to African, Middle East, and Islamic history. I have taught elementary, high school, university, and adult education classes. The institutions and community leaders that brought me on to teach deemed me qualified. They didn’t bring me on to teach tajweed or give tafsir, I am not qualified to teach either.

Anti-intellectual Muslim have so much disdain for their degree holding brothers and sisters. I think it is a bit ironic. If we are going to have Muslim schools to develop a new generation, we need people who are qualified to teach and that requires having the training that comes with a degree. We need people who can make connections, and that often requires a different type of training. Azhar is not known for producing historians, let alone scholars who can challenge the intellectual nihilism that is predominating Western thought. This really struck home when taught my students a lesson about Othello. In one part of the mini-lecture, I began to explain several terms Europeans used for Muslims: Moor, Turk, Saracens. Many of my students did not know much about the history of Muslim and European interactions in Andalusia, the Crusades, and the Ottomans as a formidable Sea power and major threat to Europe.That meant they didn’t really know about the about the Moors, the Ayyubids, or the Ottoman Empire. I could see their eyes light up as I told them about the rich history of Muslims, the diversity of Muslim societies in North Africa and predominance of the Ottoman Empire at their height. I swear I could have seen their back straighten up with a bit of pride. Now, many Muslim adults don’t know a great deal of their own history either. Instead, they either wallow in despair about colonialism and the current occupation of Palestine, Iraq, and Afghanistan or they dream of utopias with no understanding how Muslim states played out in history.

One of my goals is to provide education opportunities so that Muslims of all ages so that they can critically engage with their own intellectual traditions. Our future will be shaky if we build it on the foundation of reactionary thought. In order to understand the direction we should be going, I think it is important to understand the sunnah and the ways of the pious predecessors. I still see the important lessons from the time of the salaf, but we should know what happened in the 1400 years between then and now.

Note: This post is not to discredit salafis, as we do have friends and associates who identify as salafis. I believe it is important for us Muslims to be respectful of our differences.

* I know a big bearded salafi who drink lattes, he has an imposing in their physical stature. I have also spied a few salafis at the Starbucks across from Penn’s campus. Also, we frequently drink tea and serve it to our guests. I’m avoiding caffeine for health reasons, but I prefer Dunkin Donuts coffee to any trendy cafe coffee.

The Islamic Literacy Series – Fall 2009

Here’s some info on a lecture series I’m participating in:

The Islamic Literacy Series is a new program at the University of Pennsylvania aimed at increasing the level of understanding among Muslims about their own faith. Each week, a 50 minute class will be held on a different topic pertaining to Islam. A faculty of 5 instructors will introduce, explore and examine the richness and diversity of the Muslim past and present. The goal is that over the course of this series, students find answers, discover new questions, challenge conventions, appreciate tradition and gain a better grasp of who they are and what their faith means.
All classes will be held in Huntsman Hall, Room TBD. The classes will be on Tuesdays and Wednesdays on the dates listed below. Each class will begin promptly at 7:30 and will last for exactly 50 minutes. Faculty will be available for those who wish to stay after to ask more questions. All students are welcome to attend. If you are not a student, but would like to attend please contact Adnan Zulfiqar to request permission (azulfica@sas.upenn.edu).

SCHEDULE

OCTOBER 14, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): Discovering the Qur’an
Instructor: Adnan Zulfiqar
Description: This class introduces students to the various techniques used in the Qur’an to help convey meaning. Particular emphasis will be placed on how to better understand the Qur’anic language and the different schools of thought that have arisen to interpret the Qur’anic message.

OCTOBER 20, 2009 (TUESDAY): A Little Bit of Muslim Herstory
Instructor: Carolyn Baugh
Description: Since the beginning of Islam, Muslim women have made strong contributions to the story of Islam. This class explores the lives of a few of these strong and outspoken women, and asks how Muslim women today can capitalize on their stories to make their own voices heard.

OCTOBER 28, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): Spread of Islam in Africa
Instructor: Margari Hill-Manley
Description: This lecture explore Islam in Africa by providing the historical background to the development of Muslim societies and communities in Africa (Northern and sub-Saharan Africa). My aim is to complicate the dichotomy of Middle East and Africa by showing the ways in which sub-Saharan Africa has always been connected to the broader Muslim world.

NOVEMBER 4, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): The Science of Tasawwuf (Sufism)
Instructor: Marc Manley
Description: What are its goals and objectives. An intorspection on what Sufism is “trying to get at” and how it can relate to the modern Muslim. A tie-in with a short bio piece and examples from Abu Hamid al-Ghazali’s life.

NOVEMBER 10, 2009 (TUESDAY): The Relevance of Muslim Thought in Modern Times
Instructor: Marc Manley
Description: A reading/lecture inspired by William Chittick’s Science of the Cosmos, Science of the Soul. An introduction into the mechanics of Muslim thought and how/why it is important to “think like a Muslim” in the modern age.

NOVEMBER 18, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): The Spirituality of Muslim Women
Instructor: Margari Hill-Manley
Description: This lecture explores Muslim women’s spiritual practices and notions of womanhood in Islam. The lecture looks at women in the Quran, the significance of Hagar’s plight in the hajj rituals, and notions of womanhood in Sufism. The aim is of the lecture is to recover the feminine voice in Islamic traditions.

DECEMBER 2, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): Introduction to the Mad’habs (Legal Schools of Thought)
Instructor: Sadik Kassim
Description: A brief introduction regarding the historical development of today’s major schools of thought, their similarities, and differences with respect to legal theory and practice.

DECEMBER 9, 2009 (WEDNESDAY): Islamic Medical Ethics
Instructor: Sadik Kassim
Description: Introduction to basic principles underpinning Islamic Medical Ethics. There will also be a brief discussion regarding Islamic perspectives on bioethical issues such as abortion, end-of-life care, euthanasia, stem cell research, fertility treatment, and organ donation.

BIOGRAPHIES
CAROLYN BAUGH holds an undergraduate degree from Duke University in Arabic and Arab Literature, and a Master’s Degree from the University of Pennsylvania in Arabic and Islamic Studies. She is currently completing her PhD dissertation at Penn focusing on legal methodologies with regard to consent and marriage in Islamic law. She was a 2009 Dean’s Scholar.

MARGARI HILL-MANLEY is an educator and writer with an MA in history from Stanford University where she specialized in Islam in Africa and Sufi social networks. She has lectured on a variety of topics relating to Islam, African history and Black American Muslim communities at universities across the nation and has traveled extensively in the Middle East as a student and researcher. Her blog, “Margari Aziza,” has been featured in international magazines and noted as one of the outstanding female blogs for the 2008 Brass Crescent awards.

SADIK KASSIM is a research fellow in the Gene Therapy Program at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He is currently Scientific News Editor of the international scientific journal, Human Gene Therapy. Sadik obtained his Ph.D. in 2007 in the field of Viral Immunology. He is a founding member and former Secretary of the Islamic Message Foundation in New Orleans, Louisiana. Dr. Kassim has spoken at several Universities and Muslim, Christian, Jewish, and Hindu organizations around the country.

MARC MANLEY was born in Detroit, Michigan and embraced Islam in 1992. He subsequently learned and then taught the Arabic language for a few years. Marc has had an eclectic set of experiences including as a photographer, artist, chef and musician. He has been under the tutelage of scholars like Sherman Jackson and Shaykh Anwar Muhaimin. Marc is currently working towards a Ph.D. in Islamic Studies and has been a regular khatib since 2008. More information on him is available at www.marcmanley.com/blog/.

ADNAN ZULFIQAR is currently the Interfaith Fellow and Campus Minister to the Muslim Community at the University of Pennsylvania. He received his BA in Religion & Anthropology from Emory University, J.D. (Law) from the University of Pennsylvania and is currently completing his Ph.D. there in Arabic & Islamic Studies with a focus on Islamic law and the Qur’an. Adnan has also spent several years studying overseas mainly in Kenya, Syria and Pakistan.